Year 1?

I got an idea about what I wanted to be 4 years ago and still it is going strong but the road that I'd paved seemed to waiver a little. I am starting to regret that I forgo the interview for the moving images course, I may not have feel as bad if at least I went and try it out, having the thought of traveling so far to school everyday really turns me off.

People always said, "hey! You are good at that", but are you really that good? Maybe at that moment you impressed people, but when you go out there, there's always people that had achieved much more than you do. I always have this self-doubt-ness, that'd given me this thought that I just wanna be good and that's good enough for me. It somehow stop me from moving forward whenever I achieved a certain level of satisfaction.

This topic always surfaced whenever my friends have a random conversion, "Which unit or what you wanna be when you go for the national service?" Some said they want to be the police in the civil defense, some said they wan to be a pilot in the air force. I never thought of any, if really you want me to choose I'll go for the toughest one, I have to prove to others and more importantly to myself that I can achieve much more. And of cause this will serve as a break form school, to sort out what's dream, hobby and reality...

Perhaps, its the anxiety of having to meet new classmates that makes me think of all these things.